My eggs are scrambled

Well, it seems that we don’t have a new president. I thought I deserved one, but I was wrong. I don’t understand why so many people support Bush. I guess I would feel more comfortable if he were intelligent.

I was thinking today that I would make a better President than Bush. At least I have the ability to give a good speech, although I might have a problem with cursing too much. I wouldn’t go to Texas all the time and let the cameras follow me around while I walk my dog so he can take a shit. I wouldn’t let my daughters get drunk at college parties; I would make them go to school in England where it’s legal to drink earlier (isn’t that what Clinton did with Chelsea?). I might even remember how to pronounce “nuclear,” (it’s a cheap shot, I know, but a valid one at that). Then, I would take the time to contemplate the impacts of my decisions before actually making one.

Anyway, my Presidential aspirations aside, I’m still crushing over a guy. I think he’s in love with me because he still talks to me after I snuggled up against him in bed last weekend. Yes, I said it…in bed, but there was no action to be had. It was innocent, promise. I just don’t know if he’s interested in me.

Earlier tonight I decided to boil some eggs. Instead of turning on the appropriate burner located under the pot of eggs and water, I elected for the burner that happened to have a crock pot sitting on top of it. After ignoring a strange plasticky smell for a little too long, I turned around from my steeping tea to see flames sprouting up the side of the crock pot.

Now, I had a moment in all of this commotion. Baking soda? Water? Call 911?

Well, in this moment, the fire extinguished itself after I turned off the burner. I hope I didn’t break the crock pot.